Do not live half a life - Poem by Khalil Gibran

& then me writing stuff about it

Do not love half lovers
Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life
and do not die a half death
If you choose silence, then be silent
When you speak, do so until you are finished
If you accept, then express it bluntly
If you refuse then be clear about it
Do not believe half truths
Do not dream half a dream
Do not fantasize about half hopes
Half a drink will not quench your thirst
Half a meal will not satiate your hunger
Half the way will get you no where
Half an idea will bear you no results
Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said
A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know
To reach and not arrive
Attend only to be absent
What makes you a stranger to them closest to you
and they strangers to you
The half is a mere moment of inability
but you are able for you are not half a being
You are a whole that exists to live a life
Not half a life”

―Khalil Gibran

This poem puts words on a feeling I’ve been experiencing for longer that I’d like to admit.

Living half a life. “Attending to only be absent”… I know this feeling a little too well.

I’ve lived in many places and there was this momentum that occurred where I didn’t know when to stop or when to continue moving anymore. Nowhere felt particularly like an “arrival” or where I could finally lay my tired body down and fully rest.

Although where I was last had that ‘arrival’ potential, I had no structures or support systems holding me upright and no energy left in my bones to keep myself standing. So I melted into a puddle and gravity pulled me home.

What I didn’t realize until more recently - is that I was always “one foot in, one foot out” - but with everything, just by the very nature of how I was living my life.

My jobs were always temporary, transient or with an expiry date, and so were my living situations.

Even in my social circles, I had this nagging feeling I hadn’t fully “arrived”. There were definitely times and places where the people around me felt absolutely right, yet it usually still accompanied a overhanging reality of transience.

There is also great beauty in all of the various experiences I’ve had, people I’ve gotten the honor of sharing memories with and it’s all been extremely enriching on many fronts. However, there is an underlying sense of not fully existing anywhere. An emptiness that is followed by grief for something not had.

I lost my “base” - a defined location, community, projects, work, friends, family… accompanied with a sense of belonging.

Belonging. That’s what it is.

It’s tragic to say but I lacked a lasting sense of belonging, anywhere I was.

Which makes sense, because after all it is not something you just “find” - it is something you must build. Which brings me back to my earlier post on commitment.

Hopefully I’m not repeating myself, but I was chasing instant gratification.

The poem by Gibran also reminds me of something S.N. Goenka said in one of his discourses during Vipassana - to paraphrase - if you start digging a hole for a well here, and then decide its not a good spot so you try somewhere else, and then you keep doing that, you will never reach water. You will be continuing to dig small holes but never a well deep enough to access water.

What a powerful analogy. Water which is what gives us life.

I should frame that poem from Gibran.

-Daniela