[24 yrs old] She needed to run free
Review of my 24th year - Part 1
Part 1 of 2
It was difficult to remember what my 23rd year actually looked like, as I tend to remember the peaks - both negative and positive, leaving a lot delicious middle stuff lost in the depths of my subconscious.
Had I not dug through photos of that year, this is what I would have recalled:
-dad died
-quit 9-5 job
-began solo travels in Colombia and Peru
This sadly misses all the wonderful experiences in between all of that - moments with friends, family, my partner at the time and colleagues.
There are so many moments I can’t name them all - weekends at cottages, ski towns, Cape Cod for my cousin’s wedding, a work trip to Toronto, time with family in NYC and Ocean City, several themed gatherings in my apartment. I adored having people over.
I also went to BC for the first time, a family trip to Whistler and then I stayed an extra week to visit a friend in Vancouver. I had no idea that a few years later I’d be living there.
I have a tendency to only recall the most intense events and everything else seems to fade into the background. Looking through those photos brought so much joy and love in my heart, and it was moments that at the time, I had no idea how precious and special they were.
I guess that’s the case all the time isn’t it.
Part of my next chapter into my thirties is about embracing the mundane. I’ve been chasing highs for most of my twenties, and now I want to refine my perception of grandness towards the simplest of pleasures. Appreciate random walks or chats with friends, movies with my mom, go on little adventures, and appreciate all I have.
Okay - now to actually get into my 24th year…
So my dad died, the funeral was really beautiful, lots of people showed up which was heart-warming and a testament to his character. I was really still hoping it was all a nightmare I would wake up from.
I went back to my job two weeks later, and life just carried on. Though I knew I wanted to quit my job and I was starting to really think about what I would do next.
On June 8th - my work had a volunteer day. Almost everyone signed up to volunteer somewhere for the day. It’s a great initiative, and that day I was volunteering to help remove invasive species of plants. I got loaded on a bus with others who chose that initiative, and soon I was in the field, digging out invasive plants.
Pushing the shovel into the dirt with my foot sporting my hiking boots, and pulling the plant out wearing gardening gloves.
*me trying to create foreshadowing*
It became very obvious that day that I was not meant to work in an office. Coming back to work at the end of the day, we had about an hour to just attend to e-mails and close our day. All dirty and sweaty, wearing hiking/work boots and casual clothing, I never felt more myself in that office. Even my boss noticed.
I was like a fish out of water, a wolf wearing shoes, a bird holding a folder and a pen. My analogy game is usually better but this is what we’ve got.
So I was a caged up wolf… And I needed to run free.
By mid-July, I had given my notice.
Story continued in Part 2…
Exert from my journal - July 19, 2018, 11:20 pm
Something just occurred to me and I need to write it down, because I feel a boost, which is rare these days. I’ve quit my 9-5 job, my last day will be August 1st. A few people have asked me if I’m afraid of finding a job afterwards and losing my permanence at such an establishment. I said no. Let me explain…
1- I’m worried about not living my god damn life to the fullest while I’m alive and healthy. That’s what I’m worried about. We don’t know when our last day is.
2- Maybe one day, in the future, I’ll want to “settle down” or whatever. Or more realistically, just be in a desperate position needing a 9-5 job. If that arises, I’ll be able to find something, maybe not in “Canada’s Top 100 Employers”, but I’ll be fine.
3- If I successfully learn Spanish - BAM, added skill. That is only good for future prospect roles.
I feel like I could go on but you get the point. Quitting has boosted me a lot. I am finally more free to be myself at work. Just in the sense that I’m not lying anymore.
I find reading this really funny - because she was right, about the fact that “more realistically will desperately need a 9-5 job again”. Woops.
I did learn Spanish. (Win!)
Oh… 2018 Danielle, you were a hoot.
